When someone suffers...

Amy Carmichael wrote a wonderful book, called "Rose from Brier" during a period of prolonged illness. I have turned to this book time and time again when going through trials. She has placed a tiny little poem in her introduction which I have thought of so many times, because it speaks so succinctly of the well intentioned words of others in times of our suffering.

The toad beneath the harrow knows
Exactly where each tooth point goes;
The butterfly upon the road
Preaches contentment to that toad.

How many times have I, with well-meaning intentions, offered cheap platitudes in the face of the crushing suffering another was going through? How often have my words, rather than bringing comfort as I desired, further burden the sufferer with words that totally lacked understanding of what they were going through? In 1988, I prayed, "Lord, help me never to offer empty words that offer no comfort. Protect me from speaking that which I do not understand, but only that which Your Spirit and Word has illumined to me." Now I would add the prayer, "Lord, help me to be kind to those whose intentions are kind, and merciful to forgive their ignorant, stock phrases!!'

I remember when, I found myself sitting at the side of an aunt, knowing that her husband of 30 or more years had only hours to live. She wanted to know why, she wanted to know how she could survive and I knew that I could not answer her on a superficial level. And then I felt the LORD give me the words, "I don't know why you are going through this trial, I don't know what God's plans are for you, but this I do know: He loves you very much, and He will never leave you, or fail you, or forsake you. You are not alone." I drove home that day, not knowing that those few words would be what the LORD would use to sustain her through the days of the funeral, the days of grieving, and the days when she sought to learn how to live alone. Then, several years later, she told me, on the day of her wedding to a wonderful man, that not a day had gone by that those words had not echoed in her mind and given her comfort and encouragement and strength to go on.

There are times when someone suffers that no words can suffice, when words cannot ease the pain, or make the problems better. The person suffering can recognize a hollow or superficial word with uncanny discernment. To be told that what we are going through is God's will, or part of God's plan may be perfectly true, but the words themselves can do nothing to shift the reality of the trial. I have found in Christian circles in America, that we love words, ideas, and lofty ideals, and are most willing to offer them to one another, but we are far less generous when it comes to tangible support. To tell a starving person that God intends it for good, while one sits at a table laden with food, is to make a mockery of the LORD and His Word. When a friend suffers, are we willing to suffer with them, are we willing to try to relieve that suffering? Just how far are we willing to try to help carry another person's burdens? Do we offer words because we want to make their problem go away and rid ourselves of the discomfort we feel in the face of suffering?

Amy Carmichael expressed this frustration over the misguided, "helpful" words of others so well in "Rose from Briar" and how their words "rankled like a thorn." I love the heart and the understanding that she arrived at, which offers true comfort to the sufferer! She said that friends seemed to think her physical suffering was meant to crush her in order to make her more usable. She says, "and was the Father breaking, crushing, forcing by weight of sheer physical misery, a child, who only longed to obey His lightest wish?" She described the peace she had in her time of trial before the words came, and the loss of peace that such words brought to her spirit. She said she felt no peace until this word from the LORD came to her saying, 'let not your heart be troubled, do I not understand? What dosuch words matter to Me or to thee?" And then I knew that the Father understood His child, and the child, her Father, and all was peace again."

We must be careful not to let the voices of others obscure what God is speaking to our hearts! We must not lean on our own understanding, and certainly not the understanding of others, but allow the voice of the Master to make things clear in His time and in His way. He understands, and that is what really matters. "Let it be, and think of Me."